Friday, April 1, 2011

Growing up? No thanks.

Growing up scares me. I know that I am still young but I cant help but think that I will never be a kid again. Thinking back to high school, I would do anything to just have one week of those days back. Im sure once I leave college I will wish I could have a week of this time back. Today is just one of those days where I miss home a ton and wish I could live with all my brothers again and play soccer for my high school and go to classes and mess around with my friends.

I still have about a year and a half left of college so I am not sure why I am having a high speed come apart about this. Maybe its because I am going on my internship in a few weeks. I am so excited and lucky to be going but I am sad to leave everything behind and start new again. I know I am not leaving things here for good because I will be back in the winter, but it is still hard. There is so much unknown and it is not really that fun to think that I while I am stressing about all these things, time is steadily moving forward. Not only am I worried about the future but I am wasting the time I have now by worrying about the future.

I just need to give it to God. I need to remember that not even my next breath is guaranteed to me unless God says so. No sense in worrying about something that is not even mine in the first place. Easier said than done though.