to be a lily

like a lily among thorns

is my darling among the maidens.

Song of Solomon 2:2

i really like this.

decisions

This seems like a theme for life. Decisions will always have to be made.
I remember this summer when I had to figure out which school to go to. Since I was little I had planned on going to OSU.
Plans Fail.
I ended up all the way across the united states.
Plans Change.
I am so thankful to for the decisions that led me to where I am.
New Plans Succeed.
Summer is coming and jobs are being lined up... or so I hear.
Decisions Are Hard.
Indiana, Las Vegas, Reno, Illinois, Texas, Pondo
How To Decide?


Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Too Much Cheer

After this weekend I feel like the Grinch of cheerleaders. There was way too much cheer going on this weekend. Trevor and I went down to Springfield IL to watch the high school state competition. His cousin performed on the second day we were there. Trev tried to warn me about the intensity of the events of that weekend but I refused to listen. Two straight days of cheerleaders was a little much. At the competition emotions were on both ends of the scale for all the girls. Some were sobbing because they did not win, others were ecstatic because they took first, and then there were the pissed off girls who dropped their stunts. After day one of the competition, the hotel was anything but good place to get some rest. We had drunk neighbors in our hotel who refuse to sleep, and hyper girls practicing their routines in the lobby. Somehow I am still glad that I endured the whole shebang and managed to have a little bit of fun. Lets just say I am happy to have made it out of the cheer world alive.

what matters most

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

saying no to being a yes (wo)man

I have a tendency to turn into a yes (wo)man to try to please people all the time. What I need to keep reminding myself is that I am only responsible for what is in my "yard". There are things in my life that I have been put in charge of or responsibilities that I have to take care of. There are also relationships that I have chosen to invest and put my effort into. These are some of the things that are in my yard. If I do not have my yard taken care of, I have no business taking care of someone elses yard. This does not mean that I will refuse to help someone if they are in dire need. However, the little things that I put my stuff off for, are not necessary. I am primarily responsible for the things and people that I have put into my yard. Having that fence up is a hard thing for me. My thoughts tell me to just tell people no sometimes, but my mouth always seems to say yes. Being everything for everyone is impossible and can leave me disappointed. Putting up this kind of fence is not a bad thing. In fact, I need it. My yard has been looking a little dry these days. I feel like I am on the right track to having a beautiful yard. Better days are ahead.

How is your yard looking?

Jon McLaughlin

For Valentines Day I get to go to another concert with my man (I am SO lucky!). This time we are going to see Jon McLaughlin in Chicago at the House of Blues on Feb 20th!
He is not very well known yet, but is getting there. One of his older songs that you may know is Beautiful Disaster.
Jon plays the piano and has an overall chill sound without putting you to sleep. Trevor has seen him live once before and said that he was really good. I cant wait to go. Plus he is not bad to look at :)
Check out Jon McLaughlin or see my Artists to watch out for list!

no title

"Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic. But gaining your heart's desire? That's all you can hope for. This year I prayed for love... to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world."

oh christian college

I struggle with a lot of things here at christian college. Something that has bothered me a lot lately is singing worship. To me, I worship to God instead of about God. I know that most songs are about God but I think that it should not be about singing to each other. On this note, I cannot understand why people take off their hats in prayer and not during the whole service. This can be taken one step further to saying that if God is with us at all times, why ever wear hats. I do not think that God is absent when people wear hats, so I do not see the point in taking them off. Reverence and everything makes sense, but I do not think God is any less pleased with the offering of our hearts in worship when hats are worn.

Something I also struggle with here is the popular words. I don't think I have ever heard so many "christian" cool words in my life. This frustrates me because it is just so silly and half the time the words are not even in context. They are used for spicing up language and not to help explain anything. So pointless.

I also have a hard time with the people and profs on this campus that are placed on a higher pedestal than the others. I believe that there are a lot of good people here, not just the "famous" ones. I guess this is just me running against the grain but it is something that really really bothers me. It is fine for someone to have their favorite prof but when there are the elite ones who can do no wrong on a campus where everyone is striving for the same thing, it is no good.

I recently have realized that being at a christian college has not strengthened my relationship with God. Do not get me wrong, I have learned so much in my time here but my relationship with God is suffering. My classes spend so much time in the Word that I don't really feel like doing it on my own anymore. This is something that I recognize as not good. As a result of this, my other relationships are suffering. Also not good.

There are a lot of other things that have been eating at me the past few months. I will save those for another time.

ps. This is the most open I have been on my blog... I am working on being more open in general. I figured I would start here. It is a lot of work keeping to myself all the time.

Punxsutawney Phil

1. today is groundhog day! I feel like this day takes on more importance to me now that I want winter to be over.
2. Punxsutawney, Pa., is about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. This is where Punxsutawney Phil lives.
3. The man in this picture does not look like he has a good hold on Phil. I am a little worried for his safety.
4. The verdict?
more winter.
boo

My Second Man

My man took me to a concert for Christmas. Brad Paisley is my second man. He was so talented and I loved it so much. All the people were so good and I had a really good time. There are always some funny people at country concerts. Lets just say some people had one too many drinks. Trev enjoyed Darius Rucker (the lead singer from Hootie and the Blowfish). Luckily I liked everyone that hit the stage that night. Darius Rucker, Dierks Bentley and Brad Paisley put on one good show. I would definitely go to their show again.

I was wondering...

When is spring coming?
I need warm weather and sunshine. I never realized how much the weather influences my mood until I moved to the ice caps of IL. It has been a little warm here (about 30 degrees) so I think that maybe the cold is coming to an end. Today I am going to go kick a ball around outside with my friends. I am hoping that doing some soccer drills will make me happier.
When I was in Vegas for winter break, they had out swim suits already!! I feel like I need to get one because this time of year I usually start looking. I just cant pull myself to look for a swim suit when there is still lots of snow on the ground. Hopefully all the good ones wont be gone by the time I begin the search for my 09' swim wear.