oh christian college

I struggle with a lot of things here at christian college. Something that has bothered me a lot lately is singing worship. To me, I worship to God instead of about God. I know that most songs are about God but I think that it should not be about singing to each other. On this note, I cannot understand why people take off their hats in prayer and not during the whole service. This can be taken one step further to saying that if God is with us at all times, why ever wear hats. I do not think that God is absent when people wear hats, so I do not see the point in taking them off. Reverence and everything makes sense, but I do not think God is any less pleased with the offering of our hearts in worship when hats are worn.

Something I also struggle with here is the popular words. I don't think I have ever heard so many "christian" cool words in my life. This frustrates me because it is just so silly and half the time the words are not even in context. They are used for spicing up language and not to help explain anything. So pointless.

I also have a hard time with the people and profs on this campus that are placed on a higher pedestal than the others. I believe that there are a lot of good people here, not just the "famous" ones. I guess this is just me running against the grain but it is something that really really bothers me. It is fine for someone to have their favorite prof but when there are the elite ones who can do no wrong on a campus where everyone is striving for the same thing, it is no good.

I recently have realized that being at a christian college has not strengthened my relationship with God. Do not get me wrong, I have learned so much in my time here but my relationship with God is suffering. My classes spend so much time in the Word that I don't really feel like doing it on my own anymore. This is something that I recognize as not good. As a result of this, my other relationships are suffering. Also not good.

There are a lot of other things that have been eating at me the past few months. I will save those for another time.

ps. This is the most open I have been on my blog... I am working on being more open in general. I figured I would start here. It is a lot of work keeping to myself all the time.